Shane,

It's hard to think of anything to be thankful for this year. I still can't believe you are gone. I never wanted to be without you - and here I am. The idea of you dying was just so horrible to contemplate - I prayed & prayed to God - begging him to not take you away from me. And look what happened.

Seth mentioned a couple days ago that I don't seem to care about anything anymore - that nothing is important to me anymore. I had to agree.

Before you died, you were at the center of my life - I agonized over you & your life so much of the time. Now that you are gone, you are even more important to me because I know what I have lost - my whole future. I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to anymore.

I miss you more than I can describe with words.