Shane,
It surprises me how many times a day I think about you - there are so many things that remind me. Magazines - especially those with lots of ads. I look at the male models & think my boy was more gorgeous than that one - over & over again.
The People Magazine - Sexiest Man Alive issue - you put most of them to shame. They arent all that - you were. Not that looks are everything - you had so much more going for you! Seth & I have talked about this - you were cool - meaning you could get away with things that others couldnt - the way you dressed & things you said. If others would have tried to do what you did, they would have looked like a dweeb - you could pull it off!
And you were so much fun. I know it & so many others have told us. I am thankful that you lived your life to the fullest since it was such an abbreviated life. As I told you the last time I was with you - all I really wanted was for you to be happy. That was the most important thing to me.
When you were born, I gave you your stage name - Shane Michael Ray - that set you up to be somebody that everybody knew. If you had lived longer, you would have been that person. We would have found a way to get the right people to notice you. I always thought we had time... I imagine you did, too.
And then there is music - I have a CD of Shane songs - some that just tear me up & make me cry every time:
One More Day by Diamond Rio is the best to me - if I was granted just one wish, it would be to see you again - for however long I could have. And I would just hold you & kiss you & tell you how much I love you until the time was up - even if you tried to get away - no matter how many times you said, MOM! I can still hear that! I cant believe that I will never have that opportunity again.
