It's been five years today, since we lost Shane.

His mom and I took Lauren to the beach (on a cold, windy day) for an hour or so to just relax, be alone, and do a little mourning.

I wrote her a poem for today which nobody seems to understand. :-) I'm sure Shane would have thought me a nut.

Five years. It's been such a long time.

Happy Birthday Shane. I still and always will miss you!

Love, Karyn

Shane,

When we woke up this morning, your Mom was remembering what she was doing at that moment, 28 years ago.

She said she was walking the halls of the hospital, trying to encourage you to join us out here in the real world.

That's something that never changed. You were always very difficult to motivate first thing in the morning. (That's such an understatement as to be completely ridiculous, but it should bring a smile to a few faces.)

We still and always will miss you and love you.

We still miss your devilish smile, your goofy grin, your laugh, the way you and your mom doted on each other. We always will.

Everyone who loved you is thinking about you today, Shane.

Shane, according to your Mom, you would have officially turned "old" today. I tried to disagree with her, but she said, "My son? 27? That's old."

We truly miss you and love you, and wish you could have been here to tell us you're not old. That you're not is proof that this is a broken world.

Three years ago today, the day we found out you were gone, was the worst of our life.

Tonight, though, your Mom said something wonderful. She was talking to Mike & Shannon, the young couple we're trying to help through a very (very very) tough spot in their lives. She said that if anything good came from losing you — and we both want there to have been something good — it's that our hearts were opened to the possibility of helping people like them.

We'll always miss you, Shane, but we're trying our best to balance that loss by doing good for some others.

I think you'd have been proud of your Mom tonight. I know I am.